The past two weeks have been busy every night. If not for rehearsals, there was a VBS meeting or a "mandatory girls" night. I have missed putting my children to bed and sitting on the couch folding clothes with my dear husband. However, I have been pondering life as I drive into town by myself each night. I have come to realize that singing with Cantare is something I need to do for myself and God. And, it is a good thing. The sermon today summed up all my thoughts of the week and help solidify my answer.
All my life I have been singing or playing in concerts and always wanted someone there to hear and see me. I was searching for approval, wanting someone to love me and what I did. As I have gotten older, I didn't need anyone in the audience. It was just fun to sing. Don't get me wrong, I love it even more when I know someone in the audience. But, now that I have children, I realize it is not about me, but about who I am and what I can do to serve God. When we try to seek others approval we will always fall short. Ultimately, it's not what others think of me, it is what God thinks of me and his approval. Luckily, He is unconditional in His love, because otherwise we would never measure up. In Christ, God has approved us.
As I prepare for my concert this afternoon, I am grateful that my Uncle Karl will be there, even if it was not to see me (one of his students is the tenor soloist). I am very glad that I will still get to visit with him. It's sort of like having my Dad there. But, I am singing for the glory of God. Even if it is about a Jewish battle 166 years before Jesus, there are parallels to His coming and conquering the foe! My witness is through singing.
"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So, I live in this earthly body by trusting the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20
Aside-Last night's concert of Handel's work went very well considering the amount of music and the very little time we had with orchestra and soloists. It was just extremely long. 3 hours! What was Handel thinking!?!?!?! I guess they had very little other forms of entertainment in the day. It clips along and you never really feel like one piece was too long, but good grief, there are 64 of them!!!!!!