Thursday, January 15, 2009

My Season

Yes, I am still here as you can tell by Literacy Thursdays. But, my posts have been more infrequent and I guarantee that the next week will be just the same.

You see, life with 2 kids has hit and it has hit hard. Cavett is no longer napping and Kendrick's have been in the early afternoon and only about 2 hours. I'm not used to this. I am not used to not having ANY down or just me time. In an attempt to get just a little, on Wednesdays when Cavett is in school, Kendrick now has a snack at 11, sleeps and then we pick up brother at 2, snack following and that is his lunch. I get 2 hours a week alone.

Kendrick, of course is in to everything and he is in the season of climbing and terrorizing the entire house. Cavett's season is that he wants to be with me. How can I really complain about that. He wants to play games, he wants me to read. Even if I am busy, he just wants to hang around my feet or just be in the same room with me.

Now, Thursdays can be good. If we stay at choir practice late enough Wednesday nights, they are completely exhausted today. I put Cavett down for a nap and just pray that he is still able to fall asleep at night. Should I really be pushing and pulling these kids just for me to have a couple of hours to myself? Tough question and one I am still grappling with.

Just this past week I joined a MOPS group (Mother of Pre-Schoolers). Jill's opening devotional really stuck in my heart and has been echoing in my head. She spoke of seasons in her life--the potty training season, the crawling season, the "Why?" season--and that these seasons in her life right now are not about her. They are to serve the Lord by serving her family and her husband. Ephesians 6:7 says "Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than people." Every time I do something, anything I am serving the Lord. To be more like Jesus I must be a servant to those around me. Tough calling.

We are such self-absorbed people, it's hard to follow through. I know this doesn't mean doing every little thing for them, but helping them learn their own way and teaching them counts. Grumbling about doing it doesn't count and neither does telling someone emphatically, "look what I did" sarcastically possibly calling them out on something they were supposed to do instead.

For example, at my house, it's the trash. In fact it happened this morning. Typically it is Stephen's job. But, quite often he forgets. I do it for him, grumble about it and then I call him and tell him that I took it out. I have got to stop this vicious cycle! Why am I doing it? So that he notices and feels bad probably. Not a good thing for a marriage. My mindset needs adjusting.

I guess what I am saying is that I need to enjoy this "season" that I am in. My kids won't be in my house forever. My husband needs my support right now so that when he comes home he isn't stressed out over another "job." It is my loving duty and job to see to their every need. There will be time for me later.

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45


Anonymous said...

I promise I don't mind taking out the trash!!! I'm just forgetful............. I love you! Stephen

Falcone Family said...

It gets some getting used to, the no napping thing and no "me time". I have been jealous of yuo the past couple of years, since Isabela stopped napping. It's funny you mention the "me time". I am struggling with sending Isabela to full week school next year, for her own good, but it breaks my heart because I rather have her with me more. At the same time, I know that when she goes to school full-time, I will finally have more time for myself, to do the things I have been waiting to do, like a hobby, a sport. But, like you are saying, once the napping ceased, I was all hers, as it should be. I am sure you will find it as wonderful as I have to share that time. But, still, a little hour would be nice, right??!
Yesterday, the childhood director at Bela's school and I were talkign about nap time. I was telling her that I wich the kids didn't have so much time to sleep. She laughed and said she knows why, because my child is the only non-napper. But, when I walked in to pick her up yesterday, she was napping! First time ever at school. I think she's getting sick.
gotta go..sammy just told me she is napping with crystal, not normal..

Claire said...

Oh, Jenn. I am so there too- both with no time and also the "complaining" part. If you haven't had a chance, you should pick up the book A Woman After God's Own Heart because it will really bring it home. That is our job as wives and mothers- to serve. It is hard and even harder to do it with such joy! Hang in there. THIS one has been there and is still hanging out... I wish I had more encouraging words and could make you feel better. Just know I am here for you any way possible!!

Candace Chaney said...

Wow. I believe it is TOTALLY the Lord's heart to show us what it means to lay down our lives for others when He sends a fresh word down to us in a new little life. You're doing well to recognize it and learn accordingly.

Thanks for the reminder.

Anonymous said...

I tell myself these things every day! Especially on weekends when I am craving any adult conversation and my husband is 200 miles into the gulf of Mexico (and spending hundreds of dollars no less). The other day he told me he just needs "to get away." All I could do was laugh!

Elle Bee said...

I am often reminded of the "seasons" of life. Ever since I was little, I would always convince myself to push through the hard times in life with the sense of "Things will get better once I'm done with ______"... But the truth is, there is ALWAYS going to be something that gets in the way of what I'd rather be doing. What I have tried to do (sometimes successfully, sometimes not) is to just find joy in whatever situation I'm currently in. For example, I hate winter. HATE IT. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, December 26th should be the first day of spring. Today we had a windchill of -15. I can't take my daughter outside in that, so we are stuck at home, all day. And while there is only so much Elmo I can watch, pictures I can color, and baby dolls I can pretend to feed, I am rejoicing in that there are so many other moms who are at work and don't get days off with their kids like this. I am blessed to have this time with her. I will miss it when it's gone.
I'm sure you know all these things. It's good to get out the frustrations... but I'm sending encouragement your way.

This may sound stupid, but I just read the Duggar book, and in it they talk about teaching their children "blanket time." This is how she keeps the children occupied while she does something she needs to do. It takes practice, but it teaches the children self-control. Maybe this would be a way to get yourself a little "me" time every day... Let me know if you want more info. :) Hang in there!

Jennifer said...

Ok, really guys....I wasn't ranting. I'm fine. This was just on my heart and more of a reminder to me than "OMG, I can't believe I have to do this or that." But, thanks for all the support too. Love y'all!

davis family said...

Jennifer- Thanks for such a timely post. It is comforting in a way to know that other moms/wives are going have the same challenges that I have here. As you can tell by my lack of blogging, things are a bit out of sorts around here. I feel like I am doing something every minute of the day! "Me" time seems to be at an all-time low. P.S.-I loved the part about the trash. The exact same scenario happens here.