You see, life with 2 kids has hit and it has hit hard. Cavett is no longer napping and Kendrick's have been in the early afternoon and only about 2 hours. I'm not used to this. I am not used to not having ANY down or just me time. In an attempt to get just a little, on Wednesdays when Cavett is in school, Kendrick now has a snack at 11, sleeps and then we pick up brother at 2, snack following and that is his lunch. I get 2 hours a week alone.
Kendrick, of course is in to everything and he is in the season of climbing and terrorizing the entire house. Cavett's season is that he wants to be with me. How can I really complain about that. He wants to play games, he wants me to read. Even if I am busy, he just wants to hang around my feet or just be in the same room with me.
Now, Thursdays can be good. If we stay at choir practice late enough Wednesday nights, they are completely exhausted today. I put Cavett down for a nap and just pray that he is still able to fall asleep at night. Should I really be pushing and pulling these kids just for me to have a couple of hours to myself? Tough question and one I am still grappling with.
Just this past week I joined a MOPS group (Mother of Pre-Schoolers). Jill's opening devotional really stuck in my heart and has been echoing in my head. She spoke of seasons in her life--the potty training season, the crawling season, the "Why?" season--and that these seasons in her life right now are not about her. They are to serve the Lord by serving her family and her husband. Ephesians 6:7 says "Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than people." Every time I do something, anything I am serving the Lord. To be more like Jesus I must be a servant to those around me. Tough calling.
We are such self-absorbed people, it's hard to follow through. I know this doesn't mean doing every little thing for them, but helping them learn their own way and teaching them counts. Grumbling about doing it doesn't count and neither does telling someone emphatically, "look what I did" sarcastically possibly calling them out on something they were supposed to do instead.
For example, at my house, it's the trash. In fact it happened this morning. Typically it is Stephen's job. But, quite often he forgets. I do it for him, grumble about it and then I call him and tell him that I took it out. I have got to stop this vicious cycle! Why am I doing it? So that he notices and feels bad probably. Not a good thing for a marriage. My mindset needs adjusting.
I guess what I am saying is that I need to enjoy this "season" that I am in. My kids won't be in my house forever. My husband needs my support right now so that when he comes home he isn't stressed out over another "job." It is my loving duty and job to see to their every need. There will be time for me later.
"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45