BSF

This year I have answered God's calling of being a BSF children's leader.  As a former teacher, I had been asking God for some sort of outlet for me.  This was not the plan I expected, but I believe he has great plans in store for me.  Plans to grow my own faith, as well as to share my faith with little ones.    I was/am apprehensive about the commitment and work to be done, especially in the fact that we are studying Isaiah this year.  Have you read chapters 1-39? 

**BSF Spoiler Alert**
If you are taking the class next year, here is either a preview or a warning, if you'd rather be surprised...

The main teaching for the children is done through story telling and it is to be memorized.  So, as I was reading Isaiah this summer, I just kept worndering, "how am I going to tell this through captivating story telling?"  Well, let's rephrase, "how is God going to tell this story?" 

Today, I received my teacher's manual and began skimming through the lessons and was relieved.  There are some great storied included other than just Isaiah:  Jesus' birth, Walls of Jericho, Jonah, the birth of Samson, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Saul, Moses' "Let My People Go," Paul and Silas in jail, Jesus' sacrifice, Jesus and Peter.  Along with these stories there are many from Isaiah that lend themselves more to story telling as well as just more explaining the words God gave Isaiah and what they mean for us.  So, for now as long as God can help me memorize (which I do not doubt), I am feeling a bit more confident.

As for the music side of my job, I am jumping for joy!  Out of the 18 songs I will be teaching, I know all but 6 of the tunes.  And, of the ones I don't know they have a very melodic line, easy to memorize and teach. 

I still don't know which age group I'll have, but I am confident God will put me where I am needed and can contribute the most. 

I am looking forward to this new experience and also taking Kendrick through the walk with me. 

Just leave me alone already.

It never fails. I go to the grocery store with my two precious boys and the clerk or someone else in line asks if I am going to try for a girl. Do I not look like my hands are full enough trying to push a cart with a baby in one arm, a toddler hanging on to the side and trying to put groceries in my cart?????? This question has almost become more obnoxious and more frequent than when we were just married with no kids for 4 years. Why can't I just enjoy the two wonderful boys I have? Is there something wrong with that? Why does everyone think you have to have both sexes? Sure, it might be nice and there are times I wonder if I would like to have a girl. But, let me enjoy the baby I have right now. As Marion stated, I don't want to move on to the "next thing" yet.

Just to make sure everyone knows and you won't have to ask me again for a really long time, here is the answer. I have given off the flippant, "Girls scare me," just to end conversations. Well, ok, they do scare me at age 12-30. Come on, I taught middle school. I know, I know, "but I am the parent and will raise them right." The whole princess idea that everyone is into just repluses me. We are going to have a whole generation of girls who want everything and to be waited on hand and foot! Look at all these "spas" for little girls. What are we telling them? That they have to be beautiful to feel loved? It's just wrong. Does anyone else see this or am I jaded? I'm just not as girly as you think I may be. I digress............

If it were up to Stephen we would be done. I am not sure I am finished at this moment. Like Stephen says, one-on-one defense is better than zone. We would also like to extensively travel with them when they are old enough to appreciate it. It would be much more difficult to do that with 3 or more. Also, we are unsure where we will even be living in a year. However, I don't want to look back and say I wish we had one more, even if it is a boy. I don't want to feel like family holidays are incomplete.

Most of all, I am not sure I want to go through the pain of another miscarriage. One of my dear friends is going through this for a second time right now and it is absolutely heart-wrenching. I know all the feelings and pain she is experiencing. It's not fun. I am also getting older and there are more risks the more we wait. But, this is not the right time. If that time ever comes, I'll let you know. For now, I think I will just enjoy what God has given me.

So, just leave me alone already.